Unfortunately... yet fortunately...

[Chris Miller]

Unfortunately, it's a single, very drunken Templar.

[Aegis Runestone]

Fortunately, the Templar knew where to track her...

(new rule: You can reset the game by saying "(Un)fortunately, this game was reset..." and then people can start over. This is for when we run out of ideas or write ourselves into a corner.)

[Chris Miller]

Unfortunately, my knee hurts like a sonofabitch.

[Lethes]

Fortunately, ice helps.

[Chris Miller]

Unfortunately, dry ice doesn't.

[Aegis Runestone]

Fortunately, you became immune to dry ice...

[Chris Miller]

Unfortunately, I'm vulnerable to the effects of interdimensional shifts.  There's one in my butt.

[Lethes]

Fortunately you saw a gynecologist about that, and you're fine now.

[Chris Miller]

Unfortunately, the gynecologist did a sex change operation when I was knocked out, and now I'm Hillary Clinton.

[Lethes]

Fortunately, a young Hillary Clinton.