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The Gaming Universe  |  General  |  The Gaming Lounge  |  A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
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Author Topic: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...  (Read 667 times)

Offline Aegis Runestone

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A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« on: March 21, 2009, 08:55:15 PM »
I'd like it if people could look it over and see if there is anything wrong with it (besides anything that might contradict your opinion). Like things that shouldn't be in there, or awkward sentences or poor word choice. Suggestions are welcome. I'm doing this so I can perfect it for a GameFAQs review.

Originally, this was going to be a 9/10 review, but as I did the calculations for each section, I came up with an 8/10. So, I had to settle for a lower score.

Enjoy! :)
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Offline Kaiser Infinity

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Re: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2009, 09:39:20 PM »
Hmm. Overall, this comes out as a well thought-out and put together review. Very good job. I've only to make a number of grammatical corrections and suggestions:

1) Your second sentence in your first paragraph comes off with an awkward tone due to placement of the adverbs "recently" and "unfortunately"; also, I feel "fallen into decline" is a little redundant in meaning. Might sound better read this way: "Unfortunately, his recent games have declined severely in quality."

2) To have the first sentence flow better into the second, I'd suggest rewording it like this: "Sonic the Hedgehog has been a ["staple game series" or "popular icon"] from SEGA's Sonic Team for years." ("Sega team" would be a misnomer)

3) Second sentence of the first paragraph under Graphics: "making it" should be "making them".

4) Where you mention that the models are on par with some other games that have great models, list a few examples so people have some perspective or reference.

5) First sentence under Gameplay: change the first comma to a semi-colon and see how it looks.

6) First sentence, second paragraph under Gameplay: change the first period to a colon to establish the transition between the general statement and the specific statement. Also, include "are" in the next sentence between "and" & "very".

7) In the paragraph about the battle system, fifth sentence, replace "that was" with "which is" so you're not speaking in two different tenses.

8) In the paragraph about difficulty, separate the first sentence into two at the first comma.

9) Second paragraph, first sentence under Story: You repeated yourself at the end. Change "and I did" with "and it does". Also, in the next sentence, put an "a" before "storyline".

10) A minor detail, but at the end of the third paragraph under Story, you may want to specify what rules you're referring to: RPG rules, Sonic-game rules, or just leave it as an understood general rules of a fun game.

11) Third sentence, first paragraph under Sound/Music: "... which seems to have had more effort put into it" instead of "which seems to have more effort put into it"

12) Under Replay Value, you can cut down the second sentence to: "I say it depends on ["how you feel" or "your opinion"]." Also, the second part of the next sentence ought to read: "and you'll easily be able to cancel out enemy POW moves."

13) The last sentence for the first paragraph of Replay Value doesn't seem to logically follow the rest of the paragraph. It sounds like you're praising the fact that the game would be easier on the second playthrough, but then say that the "replay value in Sonic Chronicles is lacking in that department compared to what other games have." I'm not sure what you mean.

14) "Requistes" is missing an "i" at the end. That's your only misspelling, though, so that's really good.


~Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.~

Offline Aegis Runestone

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Re: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2009, 10:05:15 PM »
Watch your smilies. :P your "8" got turned into a 8)

I fixed most of what you said.

For number 5, I just placed a semi-colon and removed "rather," because it looked incorrect as ";rather,"

Number 12 was the hardest, and I tried to rewrite the paragraph out. Here's what I got:

Quote from: My Review
So, once you beat the game, do you want to play it again? I say it depends on your opinion if you want to play again. To the dismay of many gamers, Sonic Chronicles is much easier the second time through. This is a problem because it takes away what challenge the game originally had. You'll have the POW moves down pat, and will be able to cancel out enemy POW moves with ease. It almost makes battles pointless.

However, you have the option to go back and try to collect all the chao, rings, and see the different dialogues you can get from other choices, creating a slightly different feel to your second playthrough. It is at least worth it to go through the game twice, especially if you want to complete 100% of it.

Other than that, Sonic Chronicles is lacking in the replay value department.

Does that make more sense?
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Offline Kaiser Infinity

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Re: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2009, 10:46:00 PM »
Yup! It makes perfect sense, now. As for number 5, if you're going to replace "rather" with the semi-colon, you could also just make it into two separate sentences, but that's up to you.

I've always hated that "cool glasses" smiley.... *grumble* *grumble*messes-up-my-sentences *grumble*

*Grumblecakes*

PS: I've seen a number of reviews and/or rants concerning Sonic Chronicles. They mostly agree with your review, I'd say, with the exception of the nature of the story and comparing the battle-system to a variation of Elite Beat Agents (which isn't a bad thing). I think the story might be pretty enjoyable, but some people didn't like the way Knux's backstory was handled.
~Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.~

Offline Phoenix Gamma

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Re: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2009, 11:24:50 PM »
Final scores usually aren't averages of the other scores (see: IGN, Gametrailers). Unless you always describe your feelings in absolute numerical values.

You should just rate it whatever your gut tells you. If you think it's a 9, you should give it a 9.

Oh, don't get me wrong; I deleted the game off my flashcard after 2 hours and never looked back, but your opinion should be more important than math.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2009, 11:41:43 PM by Phoenix Gamma »


Offline Aegis Runestone

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Re: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2009, 04:01:32 PM »
Thanks for the tip, PG. I took your word for it and just gave it a 9.

And it got ACCEPTED at GameFAQs! My first Review! :D

http://www.gamefaqs.com/portable/ds/review/R132933.html

Thanks for helping me out, guys. I think without you, I don't think it would gotten accepted in its original state.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2009, 04:09:27 PM by Aegis Runestone »
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"It's better to stand for something than to fall for anything."- Snypa

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Offline Kaiser Infinity

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Re: A review for Sonic Chronicles I wrote...
« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2009, 07:12:13 PM »
Sure, man. No problem. You wrote it up in the first place; I just played grumpy old teacher. :P
~Never borrow from the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice.~

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